Dealing with Discouragement

All singers face discouragement at one point or another while on their vocal journey. This may be an inevitable phase of challenging oneself and striving to improve. Here are some strategies I find useful to manage discouragement:

Change It Up!

There are many, many aspects of singing to practice and improve upon. Just because those high notes are eluding you doesn’t mean you can’t make progress in other areas. Improve your ear, your song interpretation, your tone. The list is very long. Focus on something else and then come back to your challenge later.

Stop Comparing Yourself To Others

This one is hard, but is also very important. The majority of singers start taking lessons because they are inspired by another singer. Learning from and be inspired by another singer is great! But recording yourself on a voice memo singing “The Greatest Love of All” and immediately comparing it to Whitney Houston’s performance of the song is not so great. No one else can sound like Whitney Houston. And no one else can sound like YOU! 

Don’t Go It Alone

Talk to your voice teacher or coach about what you’re going through. They will certainly have a different perspective on how you are progressing, and can best speak to what you need to work on in order to get to the next step. They can also give you understanding as to what expectations are reasonable within a certain time frame.

Certain vocal improvements may seem to happen overnight, but building solid vocal technique takes time, discipline, and steadiness. Ask your teacher for help in devising a practice plan that keeps you feeling challenged but not burnt out. Having such a plan will help you reach your goals on a timeline that is uniquely yours. Learning is different for everyone, and communication with your teacher is key to getting the most out of your lessons.

I would also encourage you to talk to other singers that you respect. Chances are that they have faced discouragement at some point as well, and it could be helpful to hear about how they overcame it.  Perhaps they tried out a new vocal style (i.e., singing a jazz or pop song when you have been struggling with something classical or musical theatre), signed up for a group singing class, or simply took a break for a few days. There can be great comfort as well as inspiration in finding your community.

Singing Should Feel Good

Most people sing because it makes them feel good. The pursuit of vocal improvement and mastery, however, requires intentional practicing. That being said, there is a big difference between being a disciplined practitioner of singing and becoming a stern taskmaster that doesn’t allow oneself to have any fun. Always continue to stretch, but make sure you are also letting yourself enjoy singing. Maybe that means singing along with old childhood favorites that seem “too easy.” Maybe it means singing in a group where you get to harmonize and blend with other voices. 

Sometimes it’s helpful to think of following joy as a bit of a mystery that needs to be solved. Only we can know what truly sparks joy for ourselves, and often the connection to it is interrupted by what we feel we “should” be working on or achieving. This can come from comparing ourselves with other singers or things that people have said about our singing in the past. If you feel that you’ve lost this connection, you may try adding meditation to your practice habits. Even a five minute window where you focus solely on your breath can help you notice your thought patterns and get back in touch with yourself. You can do this on your own with a timer, or use an app such as Headspace or Calm. 

Follow Your Joy!

If singing is usually a great source of happiness for you, then there is no need to let discouragement take that away. Rather, view it as another obstacle along your path. You have the choice to let it stop you, or you can do the work to clear it, continuing on your glorious journey to vocal joy!